UMGAWALAND HISTORY

18th Century
1748 - Sir Humphrey Luxury-Yacht (late of Cholmondeley, Cheshire, England) of the East India Trading Company landed in Botungo Bay and established a trading outpost. Initial commodities for trade were bananas, coconuts, sugar and spices.

1750 - Because of population expansion at the EITC Botungo Bay trading post, a charter was granted to found a city and the name was changed to New Cholmondeley (in honour of Sir Humphrey's birth place).

1799 - The first coffee crop was planted, which would eventually lead to greater wealth generated in the colony.
19th Century
1808 - During the Napoleonic Wars, French privateers sought to wreak havoc on maritime trade along the eastern coast of Imagiafrica. One French ship, the "Blaireau en Colère", ran aground just south of New Cholmondeley. The crew was captured by the local militia. The French sailors must have enjoyed their captivity, describing it as "rather pleasant". Many stayed, even after the wars had concluded.

1823 - Due to the slipping of EITC influence and the local commodities market crashing, the British government takes over administration of the New Cholmondeley colony.

1880s - The growth of the coffee plantation industry encompassed areas of the inland Northern Jumarji Plains (now Northern Umgawaland, Northern Mdrongo and Southern Mbotu) and resulted in what was called "The Great Coffee War". This war destabilised the region allowing local warlords to flourish, resulting in a shortage of coffee on the world market and driving commodity prices sky high. Coffee aficionados in the U.K. demanded action, lobbying local members of parliament to intervene in Eastern Imagiafrica.

1895 - After various failed negotiations and a glut of inferior South American coffee in the U.K., the British government sent an expeditionary force to New Cholmondeley, took over the region and claimed the interior as far west as Lake Tarzania; it set up the East Imagiafrica Protectorate.
World War 11914 - The British set up facilities to aid in the transport troops and supplies from the colonies in the Southern Hemisphere at New Cholmondeley. Vast supplies of tea, coffee and crumpets are stored away in the warehouses of the harbour district.

1916 - The colony is put on alert as reports filter in that a German surface raider, the destroyer "Schnikkelfritz", is prowling the western Indian Ocean in search of British shipping.

1917 - The "Schnikkelfritz", by complete happenstance, locates New Cholmondeley and proceeds to bombard the harbour. The overall damage was minor. However, the supply of crumpets, now stale, went up spectacularly in flames. People from far away came to marvel at the conflagration. The only other significant damage was to the Spotted Zebra Bar. The bar patrons threatened to take to the sea and hunt down the "Schnikkelfritz", board it and destroy their rum supply and see how the Germans like it! Fortunately they were dissuaded by port authorities.
World War 21940-44 - A secret British scientific facility in New Cholmondeley was involved in the development and testing of the world's funniest joke, a "weapon" to help defeat the Nazis during WW2. Early in 1942, due to an unfortunate mishap, several members of the research team and about a dozen British army personnel were exposed to the joke in its entirety. Death from laughter was instantaneous. As the joke spread, retold with inaccuracies, other personnel became afflicted. Luckily, there were only a few deaths at this stage of the contagion; most casualties underwent special treatment during their extended stay in hospital.

1943 - A U-Boat was spotted briefly several miles offshore from New Cholmondeley. Judging that there was nothing of value in the vicinity, the U-Boat sailed away into the Indian Ocean.
Post-War Era

1945 - With the war ending in Europe, Umgawan patriots commenced clamouring for the right of self-determination. Several political groups were formed and wrestled over the future of Umgawan statehood. Those who were in favour of retaining ties with Britain were the UGLY League (Umgawan Gentlemen of the Luxury-Yacht League) and the BUM Club (British-Umgawan Mediation Club). The opposition was headed by ULCER (Umgawan Liberty Collective & Economic Revisionists), politicians who believed that Umgawaland should go it alone. More extreme factions were also in the mix, the most radical were the ULA (Umgawan League of Anarchists).

1956 - Whilst the world was focused on the Hungarian Revolt and the Melbourne Olympics, the political situation began to deteriorate in Umgawaland. Generally peaceful protests were held in all major cities. But it was in the rural areas where things really got out of hand. What started out as a bit of fun - throwing dung at British troops - rapidly escalated into a war of insurgency. In the fore was UNCO (Umgawan National Congress Organisation). Dung was obviously not enough for them and they resorted to sticks and stones, then empty green bottles. The crucial moment came when agitators from across the border from Mombuututu taught the process of making Molotov Cocktails.

1958 - Western Umgawaland was declared as a "No-Go" zone. Mombuututu communist Soviet lackeys were being extremely naughty and teaching detrimental things to the local population. British and Umgawan army operations tried to sweep the zone of these Mombuututu malcontents. Border skirmishes increased. Initially it was local troops from both sides of the border, but it eventually sucked into the vortex of conflict soldiers from Britain and the U.S.S.R.

1960 - The border conflict, a hot spot during the Cold War, was bought to an end by negotiations between the British and the Russians. Allegedly, the deal was sealed with swapping several cases of vodka and whiskey between the two parties.

1961 - A national referendum is held in Umgawaland to determine independence. In a resounding vote, Umgawans joyously declared for independence. The British colonial government commenced the process of handing over the reins of power to their Umgawan counterparts. Surprisingly, that process proceeded exceedingly smoothly, so much so that the date of independence was brought forward from the original date of June, 1965, to sometime in autumn, 1962.

1962 - Independence Day, 29th September. There was great rejoicing at the independence ceremony. The new Umgawan president, Dr. Leonidis Wofcocco, declared a public holiday and shared his hopes of a prosperous future for the Commonwealth of Umgawaland. Sadly, other celebrations outside of New Cholmondeley were marred by UNCO demonstrations. Again, the trace of the smelly hands of Mombuututu agents wafted through the air.

1965-66 - The Umgawan-Mombuututu War: as interference from the Soviet lackeys in Mombuututu grew intolerable, Umgawaland mobilised its army and invaded Mombuututu. The short, sharp campaign saw the occupation of the two Mombuututu provinces of Wukiluki and Ndungu. The U.N. intervened and a ceasefire is eventually drawn up. As part of the ceasefire, Umgawan soldiers pull back behind the original border.

1975 - A constitutional crisis looms on the field of Umgawan politics. The government is accused of corruption. Shady deals regarding coffee and banana exports are uncovered, implicating several highly placed ministers. A vote of no confidence in the government of President Yuppa Mzogoggo is overwhelmingly carried. The government collapses; ministers are arrested; the president sneaks out of the country. To bring more woe to the nation, UNCO agitators (in the pay of Mombuututu faceless men) cause trouble in the hinterlands of Umgawaland.

1976 - The interim government, regarded as being spineless and having no backbone, is overthrown in a military coup d'état. The Chief of the Army, Mjr. Gen. Joshua Butulutu, declares marshal law. As the situation de-escalates, Gen. Butulutu promises free elections as soon as political circumstances allow. He also promises to hunt down all those UNCO troublemakers and clean up Umgawaland, making it a safe country again.

1977 - Early in that year, free general elections are held. Under the security provided by the Umgawan army, the elections are trouble-free. In an overwhelming support for the military administration, Gen. Butulutu is elected as president.

1978 - As prosperity and security return to Umgawaland, the population clamours for this positive environment to continue well into the future. On a wave of patriotic fervour, President Joshua Butulutu is declared Potentate (for life) of the Commonwealth of Umgawaland.