Skip to main content

THE NEW CHOLMONDELEY TIMES REPORTS


Armed forces of the Commonwealth of Umgawaland have just launched operations in the hunt for the notorious criminal smuggler, illegal arms dealer, designer of ahistorical equipment and spreader of fake news, called Uncle Les, of ULAA. 

These operations are in the vicinity of Hoppers Crossing, Lara and Little River. It is believed that the war criminal, Uncle Les, has a workshop establishment in the area.

What triggered this operation was a fake communique released by Uncle Les of a doctored photograph of our beloved leader, President Mjr. Gen. Joshua Butulutu, Potentate for life of the glorious Commonwealth of Umgawaland. 
The photograph depicts the heart warming event of his latest nuptials, an event that the population of Umgawaland rejoices in. But the photo has been doctored to show an inaccurate and rather negative image of the bride. 

We all know that Emfifi Butulutu (née Ndofo) was once crowned Miss Umgawaland and a contestant in both the Miss Imagiafrica and Miss World pageants.

Gen. Butulutu is on record stating that he is dismayed at the photo and seeks punitive justice against the war criminal, Uncle Les. 
Additionally, he is quoted in saying “Enough of this Guff! Uncle Les has committed a crime against our Commonwealth of Umgawaland! I want his head on a plate - dead or alive! It doesn’t matter how!”









Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

F-100 fail

  Grey Water recently sent a strong air contingent to support Ahmmesia in its ongoing conflict with Kalemnitka. The Kalemnitkan air force has been very active lately flying a Badger aircraft over Zeebia to join its armed forces. Now it has also sent Fiat G.91 reconnaissance planes, escorted by MiG-21s to photograph Ahmnesian positions near the border.   Two F100s and two F5As from the Grey Water intercepted these planes and a dog fight ensued. During the action a Kalemnitkan MiG-21 was damaged as was a Fiat G.91. However in return a F-100 was crippled, forcing the pilot to eject. An F-5A was also damaged.   Eight missiles were fired and none hit a target. Six failed to work properly and two missed completely. The F-100s seemed to have difficulty with their gun sights constantly missing well flown Fiats, even at close range.   Grey Water pilots have complained about the change to the new machines, preferring their old Skyhawks, especially after the success of the Pihk...
Post a Comment
Read more

Tikada and Vlesadwassa strike back at MAMAA bases.

VINE reports that, after a severe amount of provocation by MAMAA (Freedom fighters from the land of beauty), Tikada and Vlesadwassa have launched an attack across the border into 'Ard Aljamal. Initial reports claim that several of the MAMAA bases near the 'Ard Aljamal have been destroyed.   The government of 'Ard Aljamal has condemned the attacks as “absolutely unwarranted and a violation of a neighbouring state's sovereignty”. A number of VINE correspondents (attached to both Vlesadwassan and Tikadan forces) have sent back accounts showing MAMAA rebels and 'Ard Aljamal government troops fighting side-by-side.  Several of the rebel bases have fallen. Information recovered from one of these bases has led the combined armed forces further into 'Ard Aljamal, in order to “clean out”. Tikada armed forces are in the forefront of the operations, with significant assistance from the Vlesadwassan Air Force. Below: A Tikadan Army vehicl...
Post a Comment
Read more

What dangers lurk in the Dark Continent?

What horrors lurk in the uncharted depths of Imagiafrica? Strange creatures, that can only be described as "supernatural" in nature, stalk through the night. Where do they come from? Few know, and fewer survive encounters to learn more.   Mummies! Marching from the deserts of the North, these ancient monsters shamble forth to reclaim what was once the mighty Egyptian Empire!   Zoinks! G-g-g-ghosts! Restless spirits that haunt the spaces they were killed, scaring away interlopers with mournful cries.  And perhaps the most terrifying of all; Morris Dancers! Once normal men, these strange, sad creatures that announce their coming with jingling bells. Don't get too close, or you may find yourself unable to escape! Naturally, these figures are just for a bit of fun and won't be taking part in too many games, the Mummies and Ghosts I got for free from work and just happened to be 20mm.
1 comment
Read more